


Screwed Up, Scared

by fluffy_miracle



Series: Unholy Masquerade [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Norse Religion & Lore, Angels, Angels are Dicks, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Bargains, Deals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Family, Hurt, Hurt Gabriel, Hurt Sam, Hurt/Comfort, Imprisonment, Loki is Gabriel, Loki is Pregnant, Love, M/M, Mates, Pregnancy, Rape, Sabriel - Freeform, Sacrifice, Sam is Brokenhearted, Separation, Torture, Unplanned Pregnancy, betrayel, mated, norse gods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-03-05 20:58:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18836650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffy_miracle/pseuds/fluffy_miracle





	1. Family

“You’re home!” Sam hurried to greet him, gathering Loki up in his arms and kissing him deeply. Loki moaned appreciatively, forcing thoughts of the day away. “I made dinner.”

“Is it you?” Loki asked suggestively, making his hunter laugh. Gods, he loved those dimples that told him just how funny Sam thought he was. Sam’s eyes were light, filled with affection, amusement, and concern. 

“Are you okay?” Sam asked suddenly. “At first I thought it was just me going through a funk, but then I remembered our connection and I might have traveled a little ways.” Sam looked guilty and Loki pulled out of his arms.

“How much do you know?” He asked harshly.

“How dare they use you like that.” Sam said, voice trembling, although whether it was fear or rage, Loki couldn’t tell. He couldn’t make it through his own feelings at the moment to even try to gauge Sam’s.

“I’m sorry.” He deflected. He apologized. It was what he had done when he had gotten trapped between angry brothers.

“Don’t you dare apologize for what they did.” Sam was furious now. “I could kill them for what they did to you. I could kill them, you know that.”

“I do.” Loki nodded, blinking once in awe at the show of affection and protection radiating of his mate. Sam cared. Sam fucking cared. A human who made his living hunting shits like him was upset for Loki’s sake. “I could too. It wouldn’t do any good.”

“It would mean they wouldn’t touch you anymore.” Loki found himself pulled back into Sam’s strong arms. “Only you get to say who touches you and who doesn’t.”

“Sam.” Loki pulled free. “I’m fine. The seed didn’t take.”

“So I should forgive the monster who raped you because he didn’t impregnate you? Loki, I didn’t even know you could—“

“Trickster god remember?” Loki said dryly. “Who happens to be fertile Myrtle in these here parts.”

“You’re so weird.” But Sam was smiling at him because deep in heart, perhaps the human didn’t know it yet, but deep in his heart, he loved Loki.

“The seed didn’t take, Sam, because of you.”

“You’re going to have to break it down for me. Slow mortal here, remember?” Sam pointed to himself, dimples flashing. He had not forgiven the gods for forcing his mate, but he was allowing himself to be distracted by the one he loved.

“The seed didn’t take,” Loki said slowly, “because yours did.” Sam started at him, incredulous. He opened his mouth and closed it before he tried to open it again.

“You’re joking.” Sam deadpanned, like he was hoping that Loki was. Loki reached out through their bond and felt his disbelief, shock, and tiny ounce of hope. He had not expected Sam to be hopeful about this, hopeful that it was true. He opened his mouth to assure Sam that it was true when he felt his borders snap, breaking into two. His fortress, his safe refuge, was gone.

“Yea, Yea I’m joking. Sorry, Sam, I didn’t think—“ Loki shook his head. “I’m not pregnant with anyone’s kid.” He lied. There were angels all around. He couldn’t risk Sam or their child. “Anyway, don’t freak out, but we’re under attack.”

“Um what?!” Sam’s head was spinning from the pregnancy scare. Leave it to Loki to try to keep the fire alive by tricking him. “By who?”

“Angels.”

“Angels are real?!” Sam sounded stunned, like he wasn’t living one of the oddest mortal lives around, practically married to a trickster/ something unknown and unnamed.

“Oh yea, real sons of bitches too.” Loki frowned. “There’s just one coming to talk, but there are several more circling above.” There were so many. Their presence was overwhelming, painful and familiar all at the same time. “So many.” He whispered, almost hunching in on himself. “I can’t fight them all off.” He didn’t want to hurt them.

“It’s okay, we’re in this together.” Sam promised just as Loki picked up on a second presence: a mortal presence entering the house with the angel.

“Sammy?!” Loki glanced over at his mate to see that he had gone pale. “Sammy?! Are you here?”

Sam looked to Loki, the most lost expression on his face that Loki had ever seen. Who could impact him even more the death of his family? Loki nodded slowly, knowing it wasn’t a trick even though it was a manipulation and would be used against them later.

“Dean?” Sam calles out softly.

“Oh, fuck, Sam.” A hunter burst into the room and grabbed Sam into a rough hug before turning on Loki. “If you fucking touched him…”

“He didn’t—“ Sam and Dean were both cut off by the arrival of the angel.

“Leave him to me.” A calm voice called out, ordering Dean to stand by. “He’s mine.” Loki turned.

“Castiel…” He called the angel out by name. “Big brothers sending pretty boys to do their work now?”

“You turned your back on us when we needed you the most. Don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

“I didn’t forget you either, Castiel.” Loki ground out the syllables and Sam had to wonder just what they were to each other. “What do you want?”

“We need your help.”

“No, you need my power.”

“Same difference.” Castiel shrugged. “Since you always made it a point to show off.”

“Hey, back off.” Sam started forward. “Leave him alone!” He shook off Dean but the angel extended his hand towards Sam, an invisible force knocking him back into the wall.

“Enough.” Loki spoke up. Castiel stiffened and Sam could see with his bleary eyes that Loki’s power was circling him.

“You said you wouldn’t hurt him.” Dean accused.

“I had to promise you what you needed to here, but I’m not leaving here without Gabriel.”

“Gabriel?” Sam asked, catching the angel’s slip. “Who is Gabriel?” His eyes narrowed on Loki who just shrugged with the guiltiest expression on his face.

“Listen, kid, I could melt your face off and all the assholes circling above.” Loki threw down. “But I won’t because and only because of Sam here. Hurt him again and it’s game over. Keep him safe and we can talk.”

“Loki, no.” Sam pleaded.

“I will only go with you if you and all the angels swear on everything that is holy to not hurt Sam or any of his blood.” Loki drove the terms down.

“Loki...” Sam almost whimpered and Dean had to wonder just what he had been doing with the god to care of this much.

“Let me keep you safe.” Loki smiled at Sam, such a sad smile before he and the angel were gone, flickered from sight.

“Agreed.” The angels drove their part of the bargain also and Loki was bound with grace and holy oil until they had a use for him.


	2. Broken

Gabriel’s head snapped back, but he was grinning when he turned this bloody face back to Michael. Oh, Michael, the ever absolute Michael, merciless as the day he had been created. Gabriel wondered if Lucifer was still in his cage or if Michael had his way and finally killed him. He missed when there was love in Heaven, but it didn’t matter. Those days were long gone and there would be no reminiscing with Michael. Gabriel was his new punching bag: his new project. He was relentless as he carved Gabriel back into the form of what he thought an archangel should be. Dad wasn’t there to tell him any different.

When Michael found out about the baby, he was livid. It jumpstarted the torture. But Gabriel started being remade when Michael found out he couldn’t hurt the baby, making the connection that it was Sam’s. He called the child an abomination, a nephilim, but Gabriel didn’t care. He loved his child. He would die to keep his child safe, but that wasn’t what Michael had in mind, no, Michael had something much better in mind.

And then Michael brought Naomi in with all her drills and mind-altering tools to do a factory reset. By the time Gabriel’s child was born, he didn’t care about the odd little nephilim staring up at him with solemn golden eyes. He was curious about it, but had absolutely no attachment to the little girl he had just birthed.

“Who’s the other parent?” Gabriel didn’t remember procreating. That would be something he’d remember, right? Was he taken advantage of? Was this the work of demons?

“Some mortal.”

“I birthed an abomination?!” Gabriel gasped, genuinely shocked, staring down at what he had created in. “A nephilim.” He breathed, running his hand over the baby’s fragile head.

“And used magic and grace to insure we couldn’t kill it.” Michael told him looking very sorrowful over his brother’s transgressions. “But you can do it, there’s no such magic binding you. End the creature and rid the world of its evil.”

“You want me to kill my own kid?” Gabriel frowned. “I don’t kill kids.” He was horrified by his own actions bringing the unlawful creature into being, but killing it seemed a far worse crime. Michael glared at him, but Gabriel didn’t notice. “I’ll bind her grace.” He decided. “But then give her to her people, let her live out a human life.” Gabriel snapped his fingers, the atmosphere of the room changing, his eyes glowing as the glow of his child’s grace was bound deep inside the infant.

“Fine.” Michael snatched the child up, a swaddled babe. “Castiel!”

“Michael.” The dark-haired seraph’s dark wings rustled as he appeared.

“Return the spawn to its human family. It is human now.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s not my choice. It was Gabriel’s, but seeing as how I want no part with the abomination, this seems like the easiest way to deal with Gabriel’s sins.” Gabriel bowed his head: a perfect picture of repentance.

“I am so sorry, brothers. I was unaware I was capable of such evil.”

“All is forgiven, but we still have to deal with the consequences of such actions.” The look on Michael’s face assured everyone in the room of what he would do to the child if the child was not protected by their holy word. He’d kill Sam too if he could. Castiel took wing with the babe in his arms and Gabriel tried to ignore how he suddenly felt like something important was missing.

“Michael?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did I do it?” Michael raised his eyebrows.

“I wish I knew. I could have intervened sooner.”

“Oh.” Gabriel wondered what Michael had done to intervene at all. He was a micromanager at best. How had Gabriel managed to get pregnant with a nephilim and Michael have no clue until after the seed took? He’d poke around and see what he could find. He’d check on his child, he was still bound to her, and maybe even peek at whomever enticed him so much to desecrate his holy vows. They had to be impressive which seemed surprising for a human to entrap him.

—-

“Dean.” Castiel appeared next to the hunter, causing the man to curse.

“Fuck You, Angel, like hell, I’m helping you again.”

“I apologize for my duplicity last time, Dean. My mission took precedent.” Dean’s lip curled up. The angel did not sound or look repentant.

“And what happened to the sorry son of a bitch you took? It turns out Sam fucking loved him! My brother has been a wreck since we got back. He barely eats, he’s depressed, and he barely talks.”

“You blame me.”

“Damn right.”

“I cannot return Gabriel and nor would I want to. He broke sacred laws, endangering our world, but I do have a peace offering.” Castiel revealed the sleeping infant, soothed by a tendril of her uncle’s grace. “This is Sam’s and Gabriel’s child as impossible as it seems. You heard the bargain Gabriel struck and it is only by Sam’s blood that this child still lives.” Dean’s eyes were wide but he reached for her, taking her as if she was the most perfect thing he had ever seen.

“Thank you.” Dean’s tone was hushed. “Thank you for returning her. This will help Sam.”

“I hope so.” Dean caught the odd sincerity. “Has the food been adequate?” Castiel asked, referring back to the first deal they had struck.

“Yea, thanks.” Dean’s lips were a hard line.

“Dean, I don’t blame you for you how you feel about me. I lied, I’m sorry. I followed orders, but I can see now they weren’t the best course of action. I’d like to help. If you ever need anything, just pray, and I will return.”

“I don’t pray.”

“Even so.” Castiel gave him a weird half-smile before he vanished, feathers whispering behind him.

“Today was shaping up to be a perfectly normal day.” Dean sighed. He looked down at the baby and smiled, his heart lighter than it had been when the day first began. “Welcome to the family, little one. I can’t wait to introduce you to your dad.”


	3. Face

Sam didn’t know if he could continue on like this. Losing Jess and Henry had driven him to willingly tempt a trickster to kill him. He didn’t think he could handle losing them and then Loki: Loki who had given him a second lease on life when he wanted to stop living. If Dean wasn’t hovering as much as he was, Sam would have probably tried something to end all of this.

“Sam!” Speaking of Dean, his brother burst in, his smile the happiest Sam had seen in a while. The last Dean had been anywhere near this happy as when Sam had finally eaten something after days of not eating. Now Sam picked here and there, trying to keep Dean off his back. 

“Hi, Dean.” Sam smiled weakly, hoping Dean wouldn’t comment on the fact that he was still in bed. 

“I have something for you, well--” Dean faltered, “the whole thing is pretty fanciful but Castiel said--”

“Oh, the angel who fucked us both over?” Sam snarled. 

“Sam--” Dean had apologized countless times, but he was still learning just how much Sam had loss. He had never met Jess and Henry, but he felt their absence. It was like how he felt Gabriel/Loki’s absence. “Here.” Dean placed the baby in Sam’s arms. Something in Sam changed instantly although he tried to hide it. He knew. He fucking knew in his bones who this was, but he couldn’t get his brain to fully believe it.

“What’s this?” He managed after staring at the baby for a long minute.

“She doesn’t have a family.” Dean decided to not tell Sam the truth. Sam wouldn’t believe him, not with how he was right now, not that Dean could blame him. Dean just wanted his brother to live again and eventually be happy again. “Castiel thought we might be able to take her in.”

“You’re lying.”

“You don’t want to know the truth.” Dean raised his eyebrows.

“Loki really was pregnant?” Sam guessed. “I thought he was shitting me, and I think he let me, because that’s when you crashed the damn party!”

“Sam.” Dean sighed. “I am sorry. But as neither of us can fight an army of angels that we didn’t know even existed before all this to get your trickster, whatever else he is, boyfriend back, we might as well give this life a good solid try. We can help a kid out in the meantime.”

“She has his eyes.” Sam sat up, cradling the baby to his chest. “He was scared to tell me, I think. I don’t know why. I would have loved--” Sam sighed. “I wish you could have met Henry. He reminded me more of you than myself. You would have loved him. Jess too.”

“I’m sure I would have.” Dean really hoped the conversation wouldn’t head towards their father. John didn’t make the best decisions, especially when it came to Sam. They were fire and gasoline, their fights explosive. It almost got the three of them all killed on more than one hunt. Sam left and John died a couple years ago: the gulf between them even farther in death. Dean regretted how long he stood by his dad. He had missed Sam.

“I’m a dad again.” Sam said softly, gazing down at his daughter. She was starting to wake up, her eyes starting to open. “She’s so small, smaller than Henry was.”

“She was born today.”

“He’s still alive.” The bittersweet look in Sam’s eyes was heart-breaking. 

“We should name her.” Dean focused back on the newest member of the Winchester family. “And as she grows up, we’ll teach her the family business.”

“Let’s learn how to kill angels.” Sam bared his teeth, more of a challenge than a smile.

“Agreed.” Dean smiled. “So what's her name?”

“Gabrielle.” Sam’s eyes watered but his voice was strong so Dean decided not to say anything.

“Gabrielle.” He said softly. It suited her and it honored the parent who sacrificed himself to keep her and Sam safe nine months and a few days ago.

“Thanks, Dean.” Sam reached over and squeezed Dean’s arm, the closest thing he had to a hug in months.

“You’re welcome, Sammy.” Dean smiled down at his little brother and his niece. “I’ll go see about some milk for her.”

“Thanks.” Sam lay down again, cuddling her close on his chest. By the time Dean made it back with a bottle, Gabrielle and Sam were both fast asleep. They were going to have to grow together. Sammy would get his strength back while Gabrielle grew older and stronger as each day would pass.

—-

Gabriel was a trusted member of heaven once again, all his past sins seemingly forgiven. He was sent out on missions, killing, smiting, burning out husks of those who challenged heaven. He didn’t mind doing his duty, but there was an emptiness he couldn’t seem to fill, a restlessness he could never satisfy. Sometimes he felt a sadness that didn’t seem to be his own, a sadness he felt just as deeply though. It was never explained and he didn’t think to ask. Michael was not merciful. Gabriel was sure he wouldn’t get a second chance.

“Sam Winchester.” Michael didn’t even look up from his desk. “Slept with an angel and created an abomination. Destroy them both.” Gabriel faltered and then snapped himself away. He knew better than to show weakness in front of the leading archangel. 

He landed on earth, near his target’s location. There was a village nearby, heavily warded, but not against the likes of him. He walked through the trees unable to help himself from enjoying the beauty around him. Earth really was one of his father’s finer creations.

Then a sharp gasp broke the silence as a tall man hoisted himself out of the small river, naked as the day he had been born.

“Loki?!” He blinked as if he couldn’t believe it. “Or Gabriel?” There was a palpable pain in those hazel eyes. He didn’t introduce himself. He didn’t have to.

“Sam Winchester.” Gabriel’s brow furrowed. “They sent me to kill you.”

“Sounds about right.” A smirk. Gabriel had expected defiance, maybe after tears and pleading, but this human didn’t seem bothered by the announcement of his doom. “Did they tell you why?”

“You defiled an angel and fathered an abomination.” 

Sam hit him, not that it did any good other than to injure the mortal’s hand.

“I named her after you, you angel bastard!” Sam put two and two together. Nephilim. He’d have to research that later. Gabrielle seemed perfectly human.

“Archangel bastard.” Gabriel quipped and an overwhelming sadness crossed Sam’s face. It was so strong that Gabriel felt it as his own. Wait. He should not be feeling any such thing. There was something between them, not quite a bond but not a thread either: a bond. Shit! “How did you manage to seduce me?”

“You don’t really remember me, do you?” Sam chuckled sadly. “You don’t remember anything.”

“Help me out?” 

“You saved me.” Sam blew out a heavy sigh. “You saved me when I didn’t want to be saved. You were Loki, the trickster god and something else, something winged, golden, and sad. You saved me twice over, first from the heathens who sacrificed me and my family to you, and secondly when you forced me to keep on living.” Sam crumpled to a stop, closing himself off. “If you want to hear the rest, come back another day.”

“I will not barter with you.”

“Then you’ll never know how I seduced you.” There was that smirk again. Gabriel cocked his head, shuffling from side to side as he considered his options. 

“You have a week. I will kill you in seven days.”

“Good to know.” Sam remarked dryly. “I’ll put my house in order.” Gabriel blinked, catching the sincerity and the respect. He didn’t miss the affection underneath it all, but since that just confused the hell out of him, he ignored it. He flew away after Sam turned away, gaping at his handprint seared into the man’s flesh on his right hip. He had done that. He had willingly done that. He had mated, bonded, with a human. Not a seduction. A promise. Not a sin. A sacrament.

Gabriel flew hard and fast. He couldn’t stay on earth and he couldn’t return to heaven, not with how his head spun faster and faster as he tried to process that his own brother had sent him to kill his own mate and their child. Why couldn’t he remember anything? How had all this happened?


	4. Body

The next day Sam slipped off into the forest after asking Dean to watch Gabrielle and went back to stream where he had met Gabriel. His head was still spinning and his heart was still hurting over the encounter but he knew he only had a week to change the archangel’s heart. He would not allow his child to have her life snuffed out so soon. He sat down on the ground, his back against a tree, and waited. Soon, there was a rushing wind, the sound of rustling feathers, and the magnificent archangel who stole his heart masquerading as a lowly trickster god landed in the clearing.

“You came.” Gabriel turned with a surprised but haughty expression on his face.

“I always keep my word.”

“Yea.” Sam sighed. “Yea, you do.” Bewilderment crept over Gabriel’s face. He could feel his bond with the mortal tugging on him, so he traversed it, letting his curiosity overpower his disgust. Sam laughed sadly and Gabriel cocked his head. “I feel what you feel.” Sam explained after an awkward moment. “I’m sorry I’m so repulsive.” Gabriel stepped back, his repentance louder than the silence as he refused to say the words that lingered on his lips. Why did he want to apologize? Why did causing harm to this mortal hurt him in turn? “I don’t know the fancy angel terms, but we mated. You said it was kind of like marriage. Simply put, you are mine and I am yours.” Gabriel stood as if frozen, trying to process that he had committed the most sacred act with a human of all creation.

“Why would I break my Father’s commands for you?” Gabriel asked out loud, tired of Sam reading his emotions as if they were full sentences. It unnerved him how the human could traverse the bond with ease.

“You weren’t with your family.” Sam answered. “You were living as a Norse god.” 

“Why?!” Gabriel was truly repulsed now. How could he stoop so low, pretend to be a pagan, and create an abomination with a human? No wonder Michael said it had taken a lot of forgiveness to welcome him back to heaven. No wonder Michael never talked about what he had done. Gabriel was a disappointment.

“I don’t know.” Sam replied simply. “You never told me.”

“Where did we meet?” Sam recoiled at the question, a jumbled shout of emotions clear through their bond. Gabriel poked at the bond, tasting the human’s despair and grief.

“I was— my family and I were sacrificed to you. To Loki, I mean, and since you were playing his role, you came instead.” Flickers played across Gabriel’s vision, the taste of blood and lightning. He felt something that could only be described of pure pleasure and he heard the screams and saw the holy fire.

“I killed them, the ones who sacrificed you.” He realized, feeling somewhat vindicated that he had done that right.

“Yes.” It was a heavy sigh. Gabriel remembered him as he met him now, bleeding, naked, helpless, covered in the blood of his child and wife. He was glad he helped Sam even though he could not quite wrap his mind around the next part.

“I fucked you.” He said quietly, his intonation leaving none of his repulsion out. Sam inhaled sharply.

“Yes.” There was a hint of arousal between them, bodies remembering what their minds could not bear to, and Gabriel realized he was playing with fire once more.

“I must go.”

“What of my child’s life?” Gabriel caught the steady acceptance. Sam wasn’t asking for his life. He was bartering for his child’s, their child’s. It was oddly touching and confusing. Gabriel needed more time to think this through.

“I will come back tomorrow and hear more of our story, Sam, but for now, I must go.” Gabriel stepped over to where the man still sat, so sad yet determined. Gabriel did not wish for him to die. He had suffered so much already. “I am sorry.” Gabriel heard himself say as he reached out and gently touched the side of Sam’s face. More memories flickered, threatening to tear him in two, so he fled, vanishing from view.

“I forgive you.” Sam said simply to the empty space in front of him. “Gabriel.” And Gabriel heard him and wept bitterly for the life he would have to take that he wanted to spare.

“I have not made up my mind yet, Michael, I just feel compassion for this man, compassion that our father would encourage. He’s suffered so much.” Gabriel saw how quickly Michael became infuriated, but he didn’t care. Killing Sam and Gabrielle wasn’t the answer here.

“Then put him down if you are so concerned!” Michael snarled. “Or I will put you back into the ring of holy fire I pulled you out of.” He was shaking, he was so angry. Gabriel took a step back as the ferocity of Michael’s emotions washed over him, commanding him to obey. He wanted to but he couldn’t. This was wrong. It was so wrong. “You are weak.” Michael shook his head, turning away. “So very weak.” 

“What?!” Gabriel didn’t remember the holy oil but his body did, every part of him bristling to fight or fly far away.

“You’re a degenerate waste of feathers and grace.” Michael spat. “I’ll deal with this myself.”

“How?” Gabriel inquired. “I thought I was the only one who could kill them.” It was the wrong thing to say, Michael’s eyes flashed with grace. “I’m not trying to defy you, brother.” That bond, that brotherly bond, that Gabriel had been so sure of before all this seemed weak. Gabriel found himself wondering how much of this was a farce if he had run away once before already. “I gave him a week to give me a reason to not kill him or his child.”

“You’re weak.” Michael shook his head. “Get out of my sight.” Gabriel shot him a repentant look, but obeyed this time, flapping his magnificent golden wings, going far away.

He met Sam again. How could he not? He was putting everything on the line to give this man a chance at life.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come back.” Sam cracked a small smile. Gabriel shoulders drooped slightly and he sat next to the human this time.

“I promised you a fair chance.” He hummed. “I keep my word.”

“You’re hurt.” Sam was the one who reached across the space between them. Gabriel flinched at his touch, but didn’t pull away. Fighting with Michael had hurt, had rubbed his grace raw in a way that made his heart ache. He blew out a sigh and Sam’s fingers lingered a little longer along the side of his face before the mortal pulled away. “What’s wrong?”

“Michael.” Gabriel said softly. “He thinks I am disobeying him out of a fallen state.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to kill you or your child.”

“I’m surprised.” Sam admitted after a long minute. Gabriel already knew that, had felt it echo out between them.

“So am I.” Gabriel allowed with a small smile. Sam’s presence was more soothing now than repulsive. Not that he could confess that to anyone right now. “Sam, can I access your memories? See and feel what everything was like? Michael let something slip that he did to me and I want to see if I can recall it through your bond with me and how I feel.”

“You’ve always been a little annoyed by that.” Sam informed him with a smug look. “Sure.”

“I’ll need to touch you.” Gabriel glanced at the hip he had branded.

“You’re already trying to get me naked again.” Sam teased softly, leaving Gabriel strangely quiet. Sam undid his pants and shoved them down to his knees. Gabriel couldn’t help but look at the impressive length between his legs, feeling curious. 

“If you must know, I’m starting to think this is how you seduced me.” He said dryly. Sam stared at him for a moment before he tilted his head back and laughed, dimples flashing. He had dimples. Gabriel was staring, but neither of them really minded. Sam guided Gabriel’s hands to his hips and Gabriel pushed his feelings of lust aside, focusing on reclaiming his memories.

——-

“It’s happening again.” Michael ground out between gritted teeth to Castiel. Castiel cocked his head, studying Gabriel and Sam. They were laughing over something, the connection between them almost tangible. Castiel was starting to wonder with how their respective grace and soul was glowing that just maybe they were meant to be together. He didn’t say any of that out loud though. “He’s falling for that damn human again.”

Michael and Castiel watched a little longer from where they were hidden away before they flew back to heaven. Castiel wondered what would Michael would do. He faintly remembered the horror stories from when Lucifer was still with them… Gabriel was powerful, but against all the might of heaven, Castiel didn’t think he stood a chance.


	5. Soul & Grace

“We need to kill Sam.” Michael announced to a gathering of Heaven’s most trusted warriors, a gathering that Gabriel was glaringly missing from. “He is enticing our dear brother to fall again, and since I would rather keep Gabriel then put him down, I need ideas.”

“Won’t killing Sam hurt Gabriel?” Castiel spoke up. Michael glared at him but it was too late.

“Why would that harm him?” An elder warrior, older than Michael scoffed. “He is an archangel.”

“Sam is his mate.” Castiel said softly. “They bonded before Gabriel came back to us.”

“How did Gabriel come back to us?” Someone asked but most were shocked into silence. How was that even possible? “How did he bond with a human? I’ve heard that it’s impossible.”

“Instinctually.” Castiel spoke up again. “He was trying to save the humans life from pagans and crazed worshippers. When he came to, the bond was there.”

“This happened when they were fucking.” Michael added with a sneer. “Something Castiel has conveniently left out.”

“Gabriel did what he had to.” Castiel defended him. “He did the right thing. Our father commanded us to protect and love the humans.”

“Not create abominations with them.” Michael hissed.

“But that order never came directly from Father, Michael. That order only came from you.” A buzz grew in the heated room: they all knew a challenge when they heard one. Castiel was a strong seraph, a skilled leader, but he was weak compared to the Prince of the Archangels who fell his own equal in combat, locking him away forever.

“I will squash you like the little bug you are.” Michael was shaking with anger. Castiel wasn’t challenging him to win. He was fully expecting to lose, but Gabriel and Sam deserved an ally and maybe so did Dean. He knew he would die for this, but he had achieved what he had set out to do. He had planted the seed of doubt in Michael’s leadership and Michael’s temper tantrum would do the rest. It would divide heaven and give Gabriel and Sam a fighting chance. He smiled to himself before Michael hit him, his head snapping back and blood rushing from his nose where the archangel’s knuckles connected with his face. Michael’s blade was drawn but before he could stab Castiel, angels intervened. 

“Let us talk more about this matter.” The elder angel decided. “We will ask Joshua to repair this division. There is no need for killing.”

“There is always need for killing.” Michael spat. “You all are too weak to do it!” He was enraged to the point that he seemed to forget that alienating the gathering was not in his best interests. He was powerful, yes, but he was only absolute with the backing of heaven. Someone helped Castiel up and he quickly healed himself, refusing to look at Michael. He had worked closely enough with the current leader of Heaven to know that would only serve to make him angrier. Michael flapped his wings, sending strong gusts of wind thrusting past them as he took off. Castiel didn’t know where he was going, but he was relieved it was anywhere but here. 

“Get Joshua.” The elder angel commanded him. “We need to sort this out.”

“Of course.” And Castiel took to the skies too, flying for the garden of Heaven. It didn’t take Joshua long to come back with him and dispel the doubts of the crowd. He confirmed that the orders had indeed come from Michael and Lucifer who feared the humans might be more loved than the angels.

“All those innocent children, the poor Nephilim…” The angels lifted up their voices and wept… most of them. Some still held to the old ideals, but everyone else repented of their sins and vowed to support Gabriel and his human mate, Sam. 

It was a huge victory, but it came at a cost. While the angels were searching out the matter, Michael was striking a bargain with the Norse gods. In exchange for Sam, Dean, and Gabrielle’s heads, he would give them their precious Loki (aka Gabriel) back to whore out in order to form treaties. His stipulation was that Loki be treated like a prisoner and Odin was cross enough with trickster that he agreed. Odin rode out himself with his best warriors to make sure the job was properly completed.

“Gabriel, I know we aren’t what we used to be, but I could really use some help down here.” Sam prayed under his breath as he glanced around the clearing. He had come to meet with Gabriel, this last day before he died, only to come face to face with some of the fiercest gods he had ever seen. He was fairly sure Odin himself was there and while he’d like to kill him in particular for what he had done to his mate, he wasn’t not armed to do so. He always came unarmed to see Gabriel. It spoke of good faith. Sam took off into the woods, the gods in fast pursuit. He heard the howls of Fenrir, Odin’s horn bellowing out through the trees and twisted roots. The hunter was the hunted. 

“What’s wrong?” Gabriel looked confused as Sam sprinted past him. “Oh, fuck.” Sam wanted to laugh at the obscenity but when he glanced back he realized that Michael had Gabriel and was pinning him down, archangel blade drawn. Sam hurried into the village, sounding the alarm as he went. The gates were closed and the hunters formed ranks, preparing to face the gods. Odin called out his terms: the heads of Sam, Dean, and Gabrielle Winchester, but no one would trade. Finally, he blew his horn one last time and Dean decided he didn’t want to die today.

“Cas, here’s your chance at a second chance. We need support and we need it fast. Michael and the Norse gods are attacking us and Gabriel. We need help. There are kids here.”

“I’m here.” Dean jumped as Castiel appeared with a wide smile. “Hello Dean, the rest of Heaven is on their way.” 

“That was fast.” Dean was a little flustered by the angel’s closeness and he wasn’t sure why. “Thanks. Hey, want to tell me why they want my head? I didn’t fuck any angels.” Castiel’s eyes grew wide.

“I apologize, that was my fault. I was not as careful with the affection I feel for you as I thought I was.”

“I have questions.” Dean stammered. “But not now.” As one of the gods jumped the wall like it was nothing. “We have more pressing matters.” He charged the god, fighting side by side with the angel he once thought he’d prefer to kill.

\---

Gabriel was losing badly and he knew it. Two out of six wings were damaged, thrashing wildly as he tried to keep up with Michael’s furious stabs and flurried attacks. He had sort of fallen into a rhythm, remembering trainings when they were but fledglings, but this was different. This was his older brother trying to kill him over him trying to do the right thing by this human. But then Michael had gotten a stab into his gut, a wound that was leaking blood and grace because he couldn’t focus long enough to heal it.

“If I can’t kill Sam and that abomination, I can at least kill you.” Michael hissed. He had knocked away Gabriel’s blade and was bearing down to deliver the final blow. He raised his blade high, the metal glinting in the sunlight, and brought it down hard.

“NO!” Gabriel felt as if he had been torn into two. The pain he felt was grace deep, emanating out from his core. It threatened to swallow him whole, make him go supernova. Michael was there above them, frozen, as he stared at the body at the end of his blade. Gabriel remembered. He opened his eyes and then closed them as a new wave of pain washed over him. Sam, sweet, precious Sam, he remembered him. Kid had never given up on him even though Gabriel had been programmed to forget everything. Hell, Gabriel had forgotten everything. “No, no, no.” He got up, wincing, grabbing for the body that laid out on top of him. 

“What have you done?” Michael asked Sam, staring at his hands in horror as he started to crack and crumble. 

“I’m returning the favor.” Sam grunted through gritted teeth. His hands were covering most of the wound, the blood pouring out from the open knife wound. “You bound them with magic and grace that they wouldn’t hurt me or Gabrielle. I figured it was worth a shot.”

“You’re an idiot.” Gabriel breathed. “A super smart idiot.” Sam tried to laugh but cried instead. “I remember you, kid.”

“I know, I can feel it. It’s okay, Gabriel, don’t beat yourself up for what that monster did.”

“I forgot about you after I vowed to give you a happy life.” Sam coughed, blood flecking up. 

“Can you heal me first and we can talk after?” Sam asked, breaking the solemn mood. “I kind of want to live that happy life you promised me.”

“Yea.” Gabriel grinned. He was still in pain himself, but he had enough grace to save Sam. He clutched him close, putting his hand over the ugly wound, commanding Sam’s body to knit itself back together. 

“Cool party trick.” Sam let out a breath of relief. He was still weak, but at least he would be okay. They both would be.”

“Sam, I need to talk to you.”

“What?”

“We need to rename our kid.” Gabriel laughed as Sam gave him the most unbelieving look. “Really! I’m a terrible person to be named after.”

“I was depressed and sentimental.”

“Exactly my point.”

“You’re the idiot now.” Sam reached over and pulled him into a kiss anyway.

“I missed that.”

“Hard to miss what you don’t remember.”

“I still missed you.”

“I missed you too.” The smiles turned into tears as Sam clung to him. “Don’t ever ditch me again, even if it’s to save my life. I can’t survive it.”

“You are stronger than you know, Sam Winchester.” Gabriel said solemnly. “But I’m not going anywhere, not without you and Gabrielle.”

“We can call her Elle for short. Dean already does.”

“Elle it is.” Sam and Gabriel stood, using each other for strength. They made their way back to their daughter, their brothers, and their people, ready to rebuild and face a future that they would decide.


End file.
